September 9, 2013

• Out Loud

  Xanga has got a whole new look and it messed up my blog. Some of my pics don’t show up and my lay out looks weird, but I have no idea how to fix it and Blake is too busy right now so I’m just going to NOT care for the moment.
  Language school is behind us. Blake is working full time. I’m homeschooling the kids as well as being involved with some things here with SI Guatemala. Life feels calmer and more focused and I am happy to have the juggling of transitioning, training, learning the ministry, and language school behind me. It was one of those seasons that you don’t realize how hard it is until it’s behind you. Wheww!! We made it.
  Tonight I cooked for 2 teams plus some staff. I cook again on Tues, Thurs, and then on Sun again. My feet hurt, I smell like ground beef, but I am content. It was a good night. Blake lead team games for the students after dinner, I got to practice my Spanish and get to know our 2 kitchen staff ladies, I had good conversations with our other staff that were there, and now I am blogging while I listen to Blake play the guitar and worship en voz alta downstairs.
  En voz alta – it means out loud. But I like en voz alta better. I had to do a lot of reading “en voz alta” during the last weeks of language school to get rid of my East Texas accent that even shows up when I speak Spanish.
  Tonight I am thinking about how we all live “en voz alta” what is in our hearts.
  What comes out of my mouth, out of my expressions, out of my actions speaks out loud what is in my heart.
  I can try so very hard to say all of the right things and do all of the right things. I can try to fake it until I make it, but if my heart is full of ugly. I am going to live ugly “en voz alta.”
  So I’m taking a deep look at my heart tonight as I sit on my bed and listen to Blake singing his prayers out loud – it’s so beautiful it’s almost distracting me from my time with Jesus.
  But I am telling Him,
  You see the ugly. Clean it up for me Jesus. Let my heart be a beautiful place. Help me release those things I need to release. feelings of resentment. feelings of pride. feelings of frustration at myself. feelings of impatience. feelings of disappointment. Create in my purity and compassion and serenity…beautiful things to live “en voz alta.”

  • 4:50 am
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