May 11, 2013
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He Knows it Too!
I remember when I was around 8 years old and I felt God for the first time. I saw a picture in my mind of an umbrella and me under it safe and dry and warm. And in my little 8 year old heart I knew the umbrella represented God and that He was showing me that He would cover me always.
When I was 11 years old I felt God call me to missions.
I knew what it was to feel God. And then in middle school my 6th grade teacher asked our class (at a Christian school) “How many of you have ever felt the glory of God?” And I felt a thrill in every fiber of my being. The glory of God. That’s what it is that I feel when I know God is speaking. For the next two years the glory of God was my biggest desire. I spent at least half an hour every night praying and the biggest part of my praying was asking God to let me feel His glory. Worship was the most thrilling part of my life. God’s voice, His presence, His love for me…it was all intoxicating.
It was a season and it was beautiful. Like a honeymoon with the Lord. But it lead to different seasons. Seasons of spiritual growth and discipline. Seasons of emotional growth and maturity. Seasons of drought and hanging on out of sheer, painful hope that God was real and I wasn’t a lost cause. Seasons of questioning. Seasons of intense conviction. But in every season there have been moments. Beautiful, incredible moments when out of nowhere I am drenched with that feeling…that experience….His glory. And I’m transported to those years again. From 11 to 13 when His glory was my whole journey. And He let me see it and feel it over and over and over.
Last night I was doing dishes. The kids were upstairs and Blake was on the computer at the bar a few feet from me. He turned on worship music and a song began to float through the air and I felt it: His Glory. And my heart turned over and I was in such awe that I could hardly breathe. His presence; His love so strong and so real. And like always I remembered being 12 years old in my bed night after night and meeting Him just like this.
Blake interrupted my thoughts with, “Isn’t this song good?” And I whisper, “It takes me somewhere.” And Blake whispers back, “Right?! Me too!” And my heart turns over again because this man that is my husband has had those times too. He knows what I know. That there is NOTHING like the glory of God. NOTHING.
Comments (4)
I have a story – several stories, in fact – of “feeling God” as a young person; but it was not until my adult years that I really came to know His love and grace through Christ, and to sense or feel this “glory” that you speak of as real to me.
My wife and best friend in the Lord also knew what I knew and it was an unspoken thing that made us spontaneously reach out and hold hands at some of those same moments – hearing music that recalled His great love and glory. (She is now with Him and I am still here; but I imagine that she remembers what it was like for us, even now that she is in His very presence.)
Reading that gave me God-bumps and I heartily agree. May you have many more experiences like that with the King of Glory!
precious times when we see ourselves just curling right up in His lap as His child.. looking up in awe at our Abba Father.
misty tears here remembering those in my own life.
thanks for this, christina.
I have had the best time catching up on your blog this morning! It was my breakfast, along with a Chai Tea Latte and Common Prayer, so I am a happy girl! I had Tommy read this one too – beautiful to share this “knowing” in a marriage. I also marvel at what God did in little ol’ Lufkin. I have this image of him coming so near to so many of us, like a thick cloud, or a very strong perfume, and staying close. Pouring out his presence in a holy anointing. And it stuck. Because at the same time you were spending time with him, I was too, right down the street, and that feels so special to me. And he has proven so true in answering so many of my prayers, and I was telling people even this week, “I have prayed for that since 6th grade!” For example, to witness to His grace, we just closed on our first house, and the seller left a note in the entryway for us that included, “This house has been a safe haven for many, and I hope you find the same here.” I just started crying, because that is always my prayer – that our home would be a safe haven! And it’s not like that’s a daily phrase for people! He is so abundantly generous. Thanks be to God.