January 1, 2012
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A New Year
We got married December 16, 2000. So 2001 was our first year of marriage, 2002 was our second year…and well you get the point. Our year of marriage matches up with the actual year. The last few years I have looked at what the upcoming “number” represents in the Bible. From what I read, 11 in the Bible isn’t happy. And even our pastor told us at the beginning of the year that He believed the year would be a year of sowing and of transitioning and even of difficulty. This year HAS been challenging, but in so many, many ways we have been so incredibly blessed. God is so gracious. I was reading today about how we as American Christians think that we “deserve” to have a great life because we are Christians, but that we need to wake up and realize that we don’t “deserve” ANYTHING from God. Every good thing in our life is because of His grace. But the even more incredible thing about His grace is the part that is wrapped up in the promise that even when difficulties, tragedies, and heartache do come, He will make even those things turn out for our good in the long run.
This year will be our 12th year. 2012. 12 in the Bible stands for governmental perfection. Interesting since this is election year. It makes me want to pray for exactly that. Government. Our president, our national, state, and local leaders, the Ethiopian government and officials who will be handling our adoption, our pastor and elders, my husband. I’m praying for grace. Undeserved grace.
I am now in a different spot with God than I was at the end of last year. Last year I was full of passion and zeal. This year I am full of quietness before Him. I spend less time praying and a lot more time just thinking about Him. Asking Him soft questions in my heart. Some things this year did not happen at all like I had hoped. Some other things happened that completely took me by surprise. Yet as I sit here writing this I realize how much I adore that God is such a mystery to me. I cling on to Him in desperation rather than pat Him on the back saying, “What are we gonna do next buddy?!” He is God and I am flesh. And that He dwells in me is ludicrously beautiful.
With the timeline of our adoption completely unknown I feel like I can’t even make resolutions or goals for this year. I just have no idea what is ahead. I have no idea if we will be adding 1 child or 2. And if he or she or they will adjust quickly and with ease or if it will be the battle of a lifetime. I have no idea if the next year holds days of excitement and fun or if we will all cry more tears this year than we have in a lifetime. I have never, ever entered a new year feeling like I am walking into the dark. But I sure do this year. Truly, only God knows.
3 goals anyway – just because
- lose 15 pounds!
- read the entire Bible through in a year
- get at least 1/2 way fluent in Spanish 
I have seen many friends go through heart-wrenching suffering. I watch these two kiddos play and laugh and argue and be friends again and realize that I am blessed beyond belief. I think if I had to make ONE most important New Years Resolution it would be to strive all year long to hold on to joy. The joy of the Lord is His gift to me, His grace gift. And that joy is my strength. I will guard my joyful heart.
Happy New Year!!!
Comments (2)
Happy New Year. I always like your ponderings! Your kids are darling too.
Beautiful photos and beautiful words. I can definitely relate to the “last year not going as I planned” as well as feeling in the dark as to what this coming year will hold. I have been clinging to the knowledge that God does know what is coming. I would like to hurry ahead to the days when my child(ren) will be home and I will be a mommy, but in so doing, I would miss the blessings that God is sending me now. I am striving to enjoy the today of my life. My husband, my home, my little students, my co-workers, my college-students at church, my quiet reading time, etc.