February 1, 2013
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Outside My Comfort Zone
Today was the most challenging day for me at MTI so far. We were put into small groups during our first week. There are 6 ladies in my group including me. Today our group was supposed to go “waste time together”.
We went to a tea house.
In an old antique house.
With $10 sandwiches.
And you got to choose your own tea cup out of the collection of tea cups.
And everything was proper
and girlie
and fancy.
And if you know me at all you’re probably laughing about now.
I wanted to say, “Would just two of you like to leave and go to sonic and get a cheeseburger and a coke and just hang out in the car and talk?” We could talk one at a time and get 20 minutes each and pour out the worst and best moments of our lives. But I didn’t of course. I ate my $10 sandwich and sipped my water (because of course I don’t like coffee or hot tea – I do what I can to be weird I guess) and tried to act comfortable while inside I was totally stressing out about whether I should but into 5 women all trying to talk and add my thoughts here and there or just sit there quietly and act like I didn’t have a brain.
We got back an hour and a half later with just a few minutes until class started, and I threw myself on the bed and explained to Blake that there was no way I could go into a room with 45 other people until at least Monday. He took the kids to their class, came back and kissed me ’til I forgot, and then dragged me up to class.
And THEN instead of there being teaching like I expected…they split us up into groups and told us we were going to each be acting out a certain type of people group and interact with the other people groups in the room. My people group was chosen to be loud, affectionate, and have lots of gestures and exuberance. So for an entire hour I was required to act like an over the top, 150% extrovert. I barely survived it.
Tonight we got away and went to the movies, and the mall for dinner and cookies. I was sitting waiting for our pizza to be ready and I asked God quietly in my heart, “Why do I feel like crying right now?” And He whispered, “Because you’ve been outside of your comfort zone today.” And like He has said to me in the past, He said, “Find your center.”
And there in the mall full of chaos, I found myself in His presence. In His acceptance of me. In His peace that erases all turmoil. In His embrace that beats even Blake’s kisses.
So I ate my delicious greasy pizza and double chocolate chip cookies, and walked through the mall with my family, and got lost on the drive home, and laughed at Hope being completely silly, and basked in the pleasure of God’s favor on me.It was a good day.
Comments (2)
Wow! Sounds like a lot of tough stuff. I hope these experiences are a great prep for what God has in your future….and that’s only scary if you have to face it {alone}.
Can’t get past the fact you don’t like coffee or tea… LOL… Seriously, the girl time sounded dreadful. I am the gal that so would of jotted with you for the burger and coke.. though I do enjoy a coffee.. not dainty. I’ve been soaking up your posts… though I haven’t had time to much respond I have read them.. and thinking how huge this is… and so out of the comfort zone… and well you go girl! There will hard days but it will all be worth it knowing that you are right in the center of God’s will. Is there anything better?
Did you ever get my PM about the book? I’d still love to share it if you would like.
“And then I tell myself I am His body. His hands His feet. His mouth. I
am a mere human but with God inside of me. I HAVE to do something.” I get it. I am cheering you on b/c I get it. I am desperately trying to figure out what is next for us…. b/c I am not content with just doing nothing.
I love Kisses from Katie and her quote:
“People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it,
in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make
a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that
individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get
excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate
one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize
the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time,
though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities
and nations, and yes, the world.”
Here I am… trying to still make small changes, sponsors kids for school, keep being a voice, advocate for the orphans….
Love your heart!! Keep moving forward!!