November 6, 2011
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Plan B Redefined
God’s perfect plan is not disease.
My husband and I are both cancer survivors. I do not believe for a minute that cancer is God-created. I do not believe that God gave us cancer. I do not believe God delighted in our suffering or the suffering of our parents.
But God made good come from our cancer. Our faith is stronger. Our testimony is greater. Our confidence in our calling and in our relationship is deeper than it would have ever been if cancer had never touched us. I have emotional scars. I wrestle with a fear of hospitals and doctors, but
Thanks to the grace of God, I do not consider that part of my life as Plan B.
God’s perfect plan is for faithfulness in marriage.
Yet I read about the life of Solomon. The son of a man and woman who committed adultery….and devised a plan of murder. Solomon, however, was chosen to re-build the temple. The temple was the house, the dwelling place of the Spirit, the presence of God. What an incredible privilege! He was given wisdom in such vastness that he is considered the wisest man that has ever lived. I am sure Solomon knew the story of his parents. I am sure it caused him emotional pain, anger, doubts and questions, but I believe,
Thanks to the grace of God, he was never considered by God as Plan B.
God’s perfect plan is for children to be raised in their own families.I know it. I really do. But I have wrestled with that when it comes to the fact that I will love and raise a child that is not my own. I want us to be God’s Plan A for all of our children, not just our biological children. I want to believe each of our children were created to be apart of OUR family. Plan B sounds not good enough. Plan B sounds like “lets just try to make the best of it.” Plan B sounds sad and forever disappointing.
But maybe I have “Plan B” all wrong. Maybe “Plan B” is not about second best, but instead about God’s grace. This grace is beyond my understanding. It is a blow my mind mystery.
God’s grace is so extreme that He has a way of making Plan B beautiful. It is almost as if God takes Plan B scratches out the B and writes “A” over it. My Ethiopian child will have scars. He will have giants to fight and heartache to endure because of his past. But with all of my heart I’m clinging on to God’s mysterious grace. Believing that 20 years down the road (hopefully sooner!) Blake, Camden, Hope, myself, and our Ethiopian born Davis will look back and think, “How could this NOT have been God’s Plan A?”
Maybe I am off-course. Maybe I am naive. Or maybe I have just seen God’s grace turn ugly into beautiful time and time again.
Today is orphan Sunday. I am praying hard for my Ethiopian child across the ocean who is living through ugly, fallen world, harder than I can imagine heartache. I’m praying that God’s beauty is on its way. I am praying that His grace is chasing him at this very moment. And lastly, I am praying that although I can’t see it, and it still seems so far away that He IS setting His new, redemptive Plan A into action.
- Christina
Comments (3)
I am joining you in prayer! Thank you for sharing your heart and such a beautiful testimony to God’s grace.
Somehow we loose sight of the fact that God works in the bad as well as the good. He’s not caught off guard by human tragedy and what a blessing that fact is!
So amen to all of this!
somehow i’ve spent alot of years thinking that God had to quickly come up with a plan for me.
like HE had to “make do.”
once He realized *surprise! surprise!* that i was on the way in the midst of so.very.less.than. ideal circumstances.
i thought of that as i read your post and thoughts. we have our terminology, don’t we? to try to wrap our little brains
around His sovereignty and grace. my pursuit of understanding isn’t naughty…so long as i realize my biggest grasp is still small.
and my faith isn’t blind just because it can’t see. i CAN, like you wrote so beautifully, look through the lens of His Word and character
which i have experienced. to know! there is light for my feet. and beauty in His time.
thank you so much for sharing.
these are the words from one of my fav birthday cards (i save some of them. yes i do.
)
and i’m sharing them for you and ALL of your children,
“YOU were conceived in the mind of God.
HE thought of you first.
it is not fate, nor chance,
nor luck, nor coincidence
that you are breathing at this very moment.
YOU are ALIVE because
GOD wanted to create YOU.”