March 18, 2011

• He Whistles

   

     

   Things are looking better in Ethiopia. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus! There has been a lot of staffing changes in the department that handles adoption in Ethiopia: The Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA).  Our agency is hopeful that not only will this overturn the decision to process 90% fewer adoptions a day, but could very well result in everything running even smoother than before. I have been doing a lot of research on ethics in adoption since all of this talk started and it has left me with two distinct emotions:

   

  1. Gratitude: I am so thankful for our adoption agency. I had no idea that so many agencies cut corners and act in deceit in order to save money or cause things to move more speedily. There is so much to wrap my brain around as far as the ethics of adoption go, that I still can’t comprehend it all, much less explain it. I do know that I trust our agency completely. They receive children that are already living in orphanages, and they do their own investigation of each child to ensure that the parent or guardian was not coerced in any way to give up their child/children. Convincing a parent in any way to give up their child to international adoption is considered unethical, immoral, and child trafficking. International adoption should only be an option if a family cannot be provided in the birth country.  Again I could try to elaborate, but it is still too complex for me. To sum it up:  I LOVE American World Adoption Agency and HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend them. We will not have to wonder if our child has a parent or guardian  that feels that they were cruelly taken advantage of or coerced to give up their child.

   

  2. Frustration: We know that God has called us to adopt from Ethiopia. We believe with all of our hearts that there is a specific baby boy or girl in Ethiopia that He wants to grow up in our family. We have rested in this confident assurance even when our flesh wondered what on earth we had gotten ourselves into. My frustration is completely separate from this confidence. So if you are reading this, do not think that I am doubting whether or not we are on the right path because our confidence is sure.
  When we began to feel that God was giving us a desire for another child, we knew that we had options. Unless things have changed in seven years, getting pregnant is not a problem for us. I also had both of my babies with a lay midwife which is fairly inexpensive and I exclusively breastfeed the first 12 months so no formula expenses. In other words getting pregnant and having our own baby would be easy and inexpensive. (probably We could adopt through the foster care system. Easy: no, Fairly inexpensive: yes. We could adopt private domestic. Easy: no, Fairly inexpensive: no. We could adopt internationally. Easy: Resounding no. Fairly inexpensive: Heck no!

     
   
  As we considered our options however, we just couldn’t get over that  there were millions of children of all ages growing up in orphanages, not foster families, not with good medical care, education, and counseling opportunities, but in orphanages. Now from the beginning we have known and felt that the best option for these children is to be raised in their own families if possible, or to be raised by a loving family in their birth country, but we also believe that being raised in a loving family outside their country is better than being raised without a family at all. We felt that we were doing something good. We are definitely not doing this because it is fun and easy. We are doing this to make a difference! However, as I read and research and dive deeper into the adoption community and the ideas and opinions of “experts” I am shocked at the many people that believe that what we are doing is selfish and wrong. “Adoption is a temporary bandaid for a huge social problem in Ethiopia,” say the experts. “How terrible to take these children from their birth country,” I have read more than a couple of times. Some things I read I can completely understand, and I have to go back to the confidence I have that God has a child in Ethiopia that He wants us to raise, and that we have to obey and trust Him with the turnout.

  

  On the other hand, there are other things that I read that are just blatantly from the enemy of souls. The last thing he wants is for children to be raised by lovers of Jesus Christ. He will twist and manipulate. He will use the unethical to overshadow and pollute the ethical. He will say in people’s ears, “These children are just a minor problem. Lets not focus on them. Lets look at the bigger picture.” But I KNOW my God knows every sparrow that falls to the ground so how much more must He care for each and every child, each and every day of their life. He told us, “One of those children I want You to love.” And no matter what I hear from any expert I HAVE to go back over and over to His words spoken to our spirits. We might only be part of a band-aid for Ethiopia, but for that one child we are Daddy and Mommy.

   

  “He lifts up a banner for the distant nations, He whistles for those at the ends of the earth. here they come swiftly and speedily! Not one of them grows tired or stumbles” Isaiah 5:26-27a

   

    

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